MoStuff

Strange that my insides are screaming 'take me to the city so I can hear some horns blow' when this happens to be my favorite part of the year. I love the fall colors and the threat of winter that never really comes down here. I love going out and bringing in leaves and acorns (pronounced akerns) and doing little table scapes that will get scattered and make a mess.

What is this about? I think I need to be able to stand over and against this setting. I fit in too damn well. I blend into the old people scenery. What if my kid starts to blend in too well? First Boy and The GIRL learned to distinguish themselves as People From Another Place. They kept their nose in the air just long enough to sniff out their own directions.

The job has become an extension of my childhood psyche. I've gone home and died. Resurrection can't happen here.

Freeze Frame

Back to the qustion: Do I belong here?

Stop me right here and freeze the picture. I'm forty something and fat-ish. Two kids on the lauch pad and they're only inching along. Another one still at home watching their slow take off will either learn some good lessons or will follow in his brother and sister's footsteps. Right now, his progress is a crap shoot.

There's a husband and a job. The job is more than that. It's a calling. Ministry. I am a forty-ish, fat-ish mother of three who answered a call to preach and to minister to--pastor--people in the south. Southern Christians are my parish. The south as all of God's kingdom or God's kingdom down south. There's a distinction there that I've tried to tease out for a long time but now it's like I'm a little cross eyed. I can't tell the difference. I'm depressed and tired of this place.

I want to move to the city.I want to live in a walk-up with news stand on one corner and a deli on the other. I want to be able to call a cab or catch a bus and to think about the drivers and two of my key parishoners. I want kid number three to find out something about the world beyond walmart and the Gap outlet mall.

I'm Back Today!

Day two for consistency! But, I won't say anything yet. Don't have anything to say.

A Good Thing

So far, so good! I was able to get back into my blog. I remembered my username and password. Now what?

A Place to Play

Consistency is not my strong point, but this is a first effort at a blog. Wonder if I can keep it up?